Soul Randomness
by DeathEzio
Summary: Just a bunch of short story one-shots. Enjoy at your own risk. xD
1. Chapter 1

_So I just got bored and wrote...whatever it is I just wrote...uh, enjoy? I guess 0.0_

_Disclaimer: I do not in any sort of way own Soul Eater..._

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><p>"Hey Maka. Have you seen my hair gel?" Exclaimed an overly-irritated Soul from across the room.<p>

"No!" Maka shouted back.

Soul came running out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped awkwardly over his head. He scattered across the living room and kitchen, tossing everything as he searched vigorously for his prized hair gel.

"Hey! You don't need to make a mess you idiot! It should be in the bathroom like always." Maka yelled out.

He looked up at her, and she couldn't help but to laugh at his appearance.

"What are you laughing at?" He snapped.

"What's with the towel?"

Soul just growled and continued to search.

"No really, is the towel necessary?" She asked again.

Soul backed up and faced her. "Maka, there's a thing about guys that girls just don't understand. You see, my hair is precious, it requires extra care and precaution in order to maintain lushness. If I take this towel off my head, you wouldn't be able to bare the horror."

She sniffled a laugh. "Uhm Soul, I'm pretty sure its girls who have the hair care, not guys."

"Well I ain't just some other guy ok. I like my hair and I need my gel now!" He snapped.

Maka just ignored him and swiped the towel from his head. Soul widened his eyes and put his hands to his head.

"Ahhh!" He yelled as he jumped to the nearest pillow and covered his head.

"Soul you idiot. Just use hair spray or something."

"No you don't understand. There's more to it than just that. My hair doesn't get the poof and spiky ness without gel. It's impossible any other way." He panicked.

"Well why do you have to hide?" She asked, trying to swipe the pillow from him.

"Because. If you saw this horror, you wouldn't be able to see me as the coolest person ever anymore."

Maka sighed. "Soul...You were never the coolest person I knew."

"Eh?" He asked, his facial expression in confusion.

"Just get outta here and go back to the bathroom you dolt."

Soul snarled and paced angrily back to the bathroom. As he walked in, he saw his precious bottle of gel sitting on the windowsill.

"My gel!" He cried in happiness.

He grabbed it and poured it into his hands without hesitation and plopped it into his hair.

He opened his eyes and looked in the mirror. His jaw dropped in horror and his eyes lit with fire.

"My hair is pink!"

He snatched the bottle and saw that familiar signature written across it in black.

"Black*Star I'm gonna kill you!"

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><p>"Hehe. That's payback for last week!" Black*Star laughed as he walked alongside Tsubaki.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

It was a moonlit night in the depths of Death City. In the alleyways along the abandoned streets, was a black hooded figure walking alone.

"A perfect night. Not one person in sight, not one thing is out of place, just perfect." He said to himself.

He walked into a new alley and was almost startled by a figure that scattered past him.

"Just a lone kitten. How cute."

The cat hissed at him with an ugly face and took off.

"I beg to differ. What a disgusting animal, he only had 12 whiskers on one side of his face while the other had 10, how disgusting."

He walked on and kept his pace. The area was dark and quiet, perfect for people to do their "trade-offs" without being caught.

A whistle was heard through his ears and he turned. He saw a tall red haired dude that sat in the dim light of an old street light.

"You the kid that came for the stuff?" The red-head asked.

"Yes that would be me." He walked over to the guy and took out a parcel of coined money.

"You're the Shinigami's boy aren't you?" The red-head asked."

"Death Scythe?" The boy questioned in return.

"Shhh. No one is to know of my secret ambitions. Do you want the stuff or not kid?"

The boy nodded his head and handed the parcel to the man.

"Excellent. Now run along, we wouldn't want your father to know about your little obsession would we?" The guy teased.

"I'll keep my mouth shut if you keep yours." The boy replied as he walked off.

He walked into his home, the mansion known as Gallows Manor. He snuck in and quietly walked to his room, careful not to wake anyone.

He plopped down on the floor and opened the bag.

"Perfect. It's finally mine, all mine. My new pair of-

He stopped himself and he realized what he was holding out in his hands.

"Ladies underwear?"

He dropped it and kept searching in the bag. "No. No. No. This can't be right! This was supposed to be highly expensive hair dye that was guaranteed to fix my hair! But where-

He began to remember what the guy had told him before they parted ways. 'We wouldn't want your father to know of your little obsession now would we?'

"He thought that I...I am not obsessed with girly underwear!"

At that moment his door slammed open. "Kidd what the heck are you screaming about in here! People are trying to sleep here!"

He looked up to find Liz. "Oh Liz I..." But it was too late. She had seen what was lying on the ground.

"Kidd...why is there a pair of ladies underwear on the floor?"

"No it's not what it seems I-

"You pervert!" She kicked him and put him out cold.

"Little boys these days." She said as she walked back to her room.


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm actually thinking of making this one an actual story, but what do you guys think?_

_Either way I might mess with this one alot so it might be different with every update. _

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><p>In the old town of Death's Canyon, lived the infamous bounty Hunter known as Soul "The Weapon" Evans. How he got his name, well, after taking down ruthless outlaws with nothing but his bare hands, everyone looked at him as a human weapon.<p>

Death's Western Mountain Alehouse:

"Just get me a cup of Arbuckle's."

"Anything for my best customer."

Soul turned and looked around the saloon as he waited for his drink. Everything was calm and quiet as usual.

He spotted her again. The girl that had just moved in from an old farm out east. Something about her always lit up his heart. Though, considering he was a notorious bounty hunter, he wouldn't let himself fall for anyone.

But he just couldn't help himself.

"Miss Albarn. Hello." He greeted.

She looked over at him and gave a warm smile. "Hello again mister Evans."

He watched as she walked away. He could tell she was blushing.

'Next time.' He thought to himself.

The day had been going well. He thought nothing could ruin it.

But he spoke too soon.

Someone slammed the saloon doors open and stood around with an angry look on his face. He seemed to scan the area and gave everything a bad look.

"I heard this place was home to someone bigger than me." He said as he strode past several frightened civilians.

Soul stood up from his chair. "And what do you want in this here town?"

The guy glared at him menacingly. "What do I want? I want to take down anyone who thinks they bigger than me."

Soul grunted at the guy's attitude but he laughed. "And you think you somethin special partner? This is my town. You best get outta here before you make me angry."

"Iron*Star doesn't take advice from anyone. If anything I suggest you leave, cus this is my town now."

"Iron*Star? You think of that all on your own?" Soul teased.

"You got a problem with my name partner? I'm a gun slinger, the best in the west."

Soul gave him a sly smile. "I've taken down crooks bigger than you with my bare hands."

Iron*Star let out a huge taunting laugh. "Who does this guy think he is?" He teased, trying to get everyone within the saloon to agree with him. However everyone just stared at him.

"Look pal, just get outta here before someone gets hurt." Soul acknowledged.

Iron*Star kept his menacing eyes to Soul. He seemed ready to fight.

"You wanna fight me, then let's take this outside partner."

The two stood outside across from one another.

From the looks of it, it seemed that Iron*Star wasn't gonna use weapons either.

"You ready to die pal?" Iron*Star asked.

Just as Soul was about to go strike him, a rogue bullet went flying through the air. Everyone in town looked to find...Him.

"It's him! The big guns. It's Death the Kid!"(He keeps his name cus it's just perfect) The townsfolk yelled in fear. Even Soul's face held a hint of fear.

"Pathetic lil scum. Fighting just to pass the time. Please, go on. I didn't mean to disrupt you." The famous gunslinger spoke.

"You think you can tell me what do fool." Iron*Star angered.

Soul elbowed him to shut up. Iron*Star demanded an answer and Soul quickly whispered. "He's the famous gunslinger Death the Kid."

Iron*Star widened his eyes. "You mean the famous outlaw who's never been caught once? And the guy that took down the said to be cursed mummy?"

Soul nodded, and Iron*Star out a cocky smile on his face. "Hey you! I hear that you think you' bigger than me."

Death the Kid just stared at him, and he pulled out his gilded silver pistols...

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

"So basically you're not even human. You're just a fragment of a soul?"

"Well technically I was never a human. I'm a shinigami after all but I take a human form."

"But that doesn't even make sense. How can you be a fragment that takes a human form?"

"You guys, I don't mean to interrupt or anything but we need you." Tsubaki interrupted Soul and Kidd's conversation.

They both looked at each other questionably and followed Tsubaki. When they walked into the kitchen of Soul's and Maka's apartment, they saw everyone huddled around a book.

"What are you guys doing?" Soul asked.

"This book...it's written in some sort of weird language. I've never seen it before, it just sort of popped up on the counter just now." Maka stated.

Kidd knit his eyebrows and swept the book from the table. He began flipping through some pages and reading whatever he understood.

A weird phrase was on a page he landed on, he sounded it out and at that moment, a cold gust of wind swept through the apartment.

"What was that?" Maka asked, only it was her that said it. Her voice came from Patti's body.

"Patti, why did you just sound like Maka?" Kidd question. But as he said it, he realized that his arm was tan and bulky.

He gasped and so did everyone else.

"What's going on?" Soul asked.

"Did we switch bodies?!" Everyone panicked.

Before any more noise and commotion rose up, Kidd calmed everyone down. "Hey! Calm down. We need to relax and figure out who is who."

"Well obviously you're Black*Star." Soul teased.

"Have you seen yourself?" Maka/Patti asked.

Soul looked down and realized he was dressed so...formal.

"Kidd! I'm stuck in Kidd's body...wait, I'm stuck in Kidd's body. I'm a shinigami!" He yelled in delight.

"Ok so far, I'm Black*Star, Soul is me and Maka is Patti." Kidd*Star stated.

"Wait a minute, why am I Soul! I wanna be a god! Soul switch me!" Black*Star demanded.

"And Black*Star is Soul. Anyone else switch?" Kidd*Star asked.

Liz went to speak. "Why am I so short?"

Soul/Kidd widened his eyes. "You're Maka."

Liz looked down. "I feel so...small."

"What's that supposed to mean." Maka/Patti angered.

"Hey you guys look I'm Tsubaki!" Patti squealed.

"Than that means Tsubaki is Liz. Oh dear, something I said must've triggered a spell. I must reevaluate the text." Kidd*Star stated.

"Dude, don't go talkin like that in Black*Star's body it's just weird." Soul/Kidd asked.

"And don't go talking like that in my body. I'm a formal well educated young man, if you go speaking like that to people-

Soul/Kidd just walked on and left Kidd*Star talking to himself.

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><p>"So what now?" LizMaka asked.

Soul/Kidd watched as Kid*Star went flipping through the book again.

"Let's just have some fun. We can improve our team resonance by learning about each other anyway right?" Soul/Kidd exclaimed as he jumped out the window.

"Being a shinigami is so much fun. I don't even need to use doors."

Maka and the others just watched.

"Well he's gonna get into some trouble." Liz/Maka said.

"Oh yeah. Definitely." Maka/Patti replied.

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><p>"Yahoo! Let's see what it's like being a weapon!" Black*Soul jumped out the window and managed to make his arm a scythe.<p>

"Cool! With this I'll defiantly surpass god!" He landed and impaled the ground with his arm. He tried getting up but he was stuck.

"Wah! Come on you stupid arm, budge! Change back. Do something!" He tried pulling his arm free.

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><p>"Well, I say we listen to Soul. This can be somewhat fun." LizMaka suggested.

The girls all took off.

Kidd*Star continued to flip through the pages, unaware that everyone was leaving.

"Everyone I think I figured it out. You see, I said these words precisely as they are to be pronounced. If these were to be said backwards, at exactly eight second intervals then-

"Hey, where'd you all go?"

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><p>"Ahahahah! I can get away with anything." SoulKidd came out from a clothing store with a new expensive looking leather jacket, some jeans and new boots.

"Shinigami's don't have to pay for clothing. How lucky you have it Kidd." He chuckled.

He got on his motorcycle and took off.

"I don't see how this is fun." Maka/Patti stated.

"I feel so tall. Tsubaki you have a nice view from up here." Patti said.

"Well I went from 5'6 to 5'2 in an instant. I feel tiny." Liz commented, in which Maka put an angered look on her face.

"It's alright. Let's go find Soul and see if we can figure this out." Tsubaki/Liz suggested.

"Hey! You girls left me back there without saying anything." Kidd*Star came along with Black*Soul by his side.

Just then, Soul/Kidd arrived on his motorcycle. Everyone just glared in shock.

"Hey ladies, guys. Nice day huh?" He said as he revved up his engine.

Kidd*Star put a disgusted look on his face. "What did you do to me?!" He started pacing forward but Liz/Maka held him back while staring at Soul/Kidd. "Wow. You look so...hot."

Kidd*Star widened his eyes. "Hey what's that supposed to mean huh?"

"I mean you were hot before but Soul just put it to a whole new level."

"Wait...what?" Kidd*Star asked in shock.

Soul revved up the engine and got ready to take off. "Smell ya lata suckas. I got more things to try before my fun ends."


End file.
